I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
