yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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