Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
