You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
