I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
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I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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