I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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