and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
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Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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