If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
