Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
