hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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