I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
