I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
