Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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