How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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