Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
