My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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