Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
