so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
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there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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