im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize