I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
