Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My underwear smells like fireworks.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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