He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
