Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
