sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My dick has a subreddit
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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