he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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