he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize
