he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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