If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
