we have officially lost it.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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