Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
