Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
A+ Viking dick
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
