Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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