i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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