Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
