there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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