...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
