Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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