hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
