When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
