pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
