I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
