to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
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Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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