At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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