I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
