Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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