Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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