Tell her she can't have a vagina
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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