Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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