I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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