Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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