why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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