I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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