i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
