i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
