with your own penis?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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