He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
