ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
