Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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