Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I will be naked everywhere
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i think im in europe. pls send help
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
