We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
