he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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