I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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